Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Purchasable with gift card
$2USD or more
Record/Vinyl + Digital Album
Naughty & Nice 7" 45 on a fancy white lathe cut with artwork by Christine and Kristian!
If pre-sales exceed 100 units then we will press them on white 7" 45 vinyl!
Includes unlimited streaming of Naughty & Nice
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
The Christmas bells are ringing
The holly's at the windowpane
I hear the children singing
It's Christmas again
The fireplace is glowing
The stocking's on the Christmas tree
Then suddenly it's snowing
That's Christmas to me
Chimes ring in the steeple
Music fills the air
Crowds of smiling people
Greet you everywhere
When I awake at seven
I see you and the angels sing
You are my gift of heaven
When Christmas bells ring
The Christmas bells are ringing
The holly's at the windowpane
I hear the children singing
It's Christmas again
The fireplace is glowing
The stocking's on the Christmas tree
Then suddenly it's snowing
That's Christmas to me
Chimes ring in the steeple
Music fills the air
Crowds of smiling people
Greet you everywhere
When I awake at seven
I see you and the angels sing
You are my gift of heaven
When Christmas bells ring
Christmas bells! Christmas bells! Christmas bells!
Baby can't you hear the rattle of the drumming?
Getting more insistent every day
Now it's pretty clear that Christmas time is coming
So join up or get out of the way
All other forms of life shall falter
As the virus infects its prey:
Uniform in scarlet wrapping
Total war in tinsel trapping
Christmas Time is Coming, so get out of the way!
Pretty soon you'll see resistance will be futile
As every single culture is absorbed
In the recipe for this invasive strudel
Kitchen-tested by old Santa Borg
Hail the survival of the fattest
With endorsements upon his sleigh
Celebrate the age old story
Taking part is mandatory:
Christmas Time is coming, so get out of the way
Get out of the way, Oh, Little Man
You can't oppose the bulldozer of cheer
Here comes Christmas Day!
So get out of the way:
Or feel the shiny boot
Of fatso in the crimson suit
Who drives the omnibus of cute that jingles all the way!
Shock troopers in their gay apparel
Christmas goose-step into the fray
Hail the newborn Führer who has
Engineered this X-Mas coup
Just because he's in the manger
Doesn't mean you're out of danger
His agenda's pretty clear now
Christmas better last all year now
Christmas time is coming,
So get out of the way.
about
“Christine Leakey, beloved of none other than genius Mark "Teenage Opera" Wirtz (You know - the "Paranoiac Woodcutter") and Linda "Parallelograms" Perhacs, along with Kristian Hoffman, whose last CD was called "an ornate masterpiece of baroque pop" (Magnet), have decided to bundle up and bundle together for that bundle of joy named - well, Jesus - and make a two sided double whammy age defyin' crucifyin' tribute to that most celebratory (or, not so much?) holiday stolen from pagan tree worshippers. Let us help you ease your way (or sleaze your way - the choice is yours) through your holidays with a typically lovely Leakey cover - Patti Page's "Christmas Bells" - and a typically snide Hoffman original: "Christmas Time Is Coming (So Get Out Of the Way"). In these uncertain times, the perfect stocking stuffer for your most doubtful queries into organized religion, and your reassertion that family, beauty and music will always come first.” ~ Kristian Hoffman
credits
released December 7, 2017
Naughty Side: Kristian Hoffman
Nice Side: Christine Leakey
Kristian Hoffman Bio
Kristian Hoffman had his first brush with notoriety with Lance Loud on PBS' noted reality show, "An American Family". Quickly thereafter, he and Lance relocated to New York and started their band Mumps ("The Great Lost Band of the CBGB's scene" - All Music Guide). He went on to tour with the Contortions on guitar, was "Tad Among" on the James White and the Blacks "Off White" LP, toured Europe with Lydia Lunch on drums, started his own loungeabilly band the Swinging Madisons ("Screamingly, howlingly funny" - Stereo Review), started a folk parody band with Ann Magnuson (whom he had met as musical director for the legendary New Wave Vaudeville show) called Bleaker Street Incident ("The funniest group yet to offer harmonies of discontent" - Los Angeles Times). Concurrently with his other 80's projects, he became musical director and wrote and arranged most of the pop hits for Klaus Nomi. He has since released four acclaimed solo CDs ("Kristian Hoffman's 'Fop' is a 17 song masterpiece sure to blow your mind!" - Magnet). He was Rufus Wainwright's musical director for his first American/Canadian tour, toured for 5 years as Dave Davies' keyboardist, toured and wrote songs with and for Congo Norvell and Abby Travis, produced and arranged two solo CDs for Ann Magnuson, and has been on myriad other recordings and had his songs covered by Marc Almond(!) and an obscure Finnish heavy metal band - the Tumppi Varonen Band! Currently he is musical director at the Brookledge Follies, is collaborating with and writing songs for Prince Poppycock, plays occasionally with magnificent opera singer Timur Bekbosunov (who recorded five Hoffman originals for his "Dime Museum" CD) and plays in a 30's stye three part harmony band, the Roswell Sisters. As an aside, he also drew the New York Dolls infamous "Bendover Girl" LP insert.
Kristian Hoffman is delighted to be playing with one of his favorite bands, Marizane - for whom he just happened to illustrate their recent CD, "Cosmosis".
Christine Leakey Bio
Christine Leakey began to whistle at ten months old, made up songs to her dog at three, at ten started doing commission work in calligraphy and acrylic on canvas, won a few national art awards during her teens, then studied Graphic Design and 3D Animation. Upon graduating, she taught herself electric guitar and within few weeks of playing she formed The Double Feature Creatures which were on Italian garage rock label, Teen Sound Records and a few other independent releases on vinyl and cd. She has shared the stage with such names as Iggy Pop, Ween, Junior Kimbrough, Peaches and appeared on MuchMusic “The Wedge” with Sook Yin Lee and CITYTV “Breakfast Television”. For a short time she sang backup for a rockabilly inspired band, Cadillac Bill & the Creeping Bent, during which time they released an EP entitled, “Eating Out”. In more recent years Christine has been self-producing and independently releasing her music with the accompaniment of friends from Canada, LA and Europe including Fernando Perdomo, Linda Perhacs, The Millionaire (Combustible Edison), Kristian Hoffman, Maryem Tollar, Maurizio Guarini (Goblin), Antonella Sigismondi, Timur Bekbosunov along with many others and has also collaborated on other music projects with Mark Wirtz, Dave Kerzner, Dreaming In Stereo, The Diary of a Songwriter to name a few. Stereogum, Folk Radio UK, PRI The World, CBC are some of the media who shared about her albums “Tapping Trees in a Trinket Box of Treasure” and “Wanderlust Wishing Well” and two of her songs have been featured in independent films entitled, “Where the Dogs Divide Her” and “Beyond the Horizon”. She won Most Eclectic Song from the Independent Music Awards for “Gloom Chime” and Best Album Artwork for “Tapping Trees In A Trinket Box of Treasure” from the Hamilton Music Awards. Christine also designs album art and creates music videos for herself and others and welcomes taking part in new projects.
Once upon a music time, a 10 month old baby named Christine began to whistle. Then at 3, she sang made up songs to her dog.
She took piano from a belching nun at 9 and taught herself guitar at 22. Christine formed bands and wrote hundreds of songs.
Now Christine has released two solo albums that put a fresh spin on fusion and begs a new definition with every listen....more
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